Terra Nova is Fucking Awful

Final Fantasy Online Forums > Community Discussion > Entertainment Discussion

10.11.2011 9:17pm

Thread Creator

Dh
Not in the face!
The Alpha and the Omega

SPOILER ALERT: DON'T READ THIS IF YOU AREN'T CAUGHT UP ON BREAKING BAD. YES, THIS RANT IS ABOUT TERRA NOVA, BUT I MENTION SOME BREAKING BAD IN HERE, SO GTFO IF YOU HAVEN'T WATCHED THE FINALE.

Dear Terra Nova creators,

I had high hopes for your show. I even looked past the fact that while the scenic CGI is amazing, the dinosaurs and other wild life in the show look really bad. I'm not entirely sure how the 15-year old special effects used in the first Jurassic Park movie are far superior to the crap I see here. I just watched Breaking Bad's season finale, a show that doesn't even have half your budget, and the CGI they used to reveal half of Gus' face being fucking blown off was astounding. It looked REAL and yet the assholes you've got doing your CGI can't even render a half-decent looking dinobird.

However, this isn't the worst part. What really busts my beaner chops is the utterly abysmal writing. You have these amazing sets, awesome vehicles, and a fantastic world to play around in and the stories you guys are spitting out make me want to take a huge, runny shit into a bowl and bury my face in it like I'm motorboating some fat guy's asshole.

In this latest episode, the gang becomes infected by a pathogen that fucks up your memory, but at the last minute, they wipe it out with a cold (which, by the way, the dad gets from the daughter in less than 6 hours)? Are you shitting me? What about last week's episode where our staff of intelligent scientists and paleontologists had no idea that by wiping out a bunch of eggs to build Terra Nova, they might piss off the indigenous species who laid them? You people cannot be serious. And to make things worse, could these characters be any more generic, contrived, and horribly-acted?

Holy shit, your show is fucking awful.

That is all.

I made this for you!

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10.11.2011 9:19pm

CaButler
Winter Knight of the Unseelie Court

If it means anything, the reason that the writing is bad is that Brandon Braga is writing the show.

For those that don't know, he was pretty much responsible for everything that was bad about Voyager and I believe Enterprise.

It looked good, then I saw who was writing it. Shame, really.

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10.11.2011 9:30pm

Thread Creator

Dh
Not in the face!
The Alpha and the Omega

Hah! It all makes sense now because watching Terra Nova reminded me of being fist-fucked by the latter Star Trek series.

If they could get Ronald Moore in on some writing, this show would rock.

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10.11.2011 9:38pm

CaButler
Winter Knight of the Unseelie Court

That would require Fox to give up 100% control of the show to him.

They would not like that at all.

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10.11.2011 10:05pm

Zubis
Registered Member

Last night's episode was a copy of a 30 year old TNG episode.

Also, the cold. Seriously, the fucking cold. Who didn't see it coming?

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10.11.2011 10:27pm

Crux
A mental Dentist's office

I saw it coming, the second he sneezed I thought, "That's what's going to stop that Alzheimer like disease that got the scientist killed". It was like Mr. Burns having so many diseases that they can't get around to killing him... That's not how plagues work! Let alone viruses... please tell me it's not.
And I know what you're talking about, I watched my first episode last night and I saw the two dinosaurs under the spotlight... they looked so choppy.

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10.11.2011 11:11pm

(Edited on 10.12.2011 at 3:33pm)

Nelfichu
I've been there, hombre.

...really bummed I haven't caught up with Breaking Bad before I read Dh's inital post. :(

Edit: Thanks for the little note up top, Dh!

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10.11.2011 11:28pm

Lexx
I know how they work

As soon as I saw Brannon Braga's name in the press stuff long before the show premiered, I knew to stay away from it. The guy wrote some good TNG episodes, then became crappy on Voyager, then had the writing/show running skill of an aborted cow fetus on Enterprise. I had slight hope that without Rick Berman (the worse of the two when they ran the Trek franchise into the ground) it would be passable, but it seems that was too much to hope for.

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10.12.2011 1:38pm

reido
(\/)(o,,,o)(\/)