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Final Fantasy Online Forums  >  Community Discussion  >  General Discussion

It isn't sexual harassment, you're a guy!



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0
 03.04.2012 5:16am
Thread Creator

maximus asinus
Registered Member

Okay so a few weeks ago an incident occurred at work, the gist of it being on one occasion a woman grabbed me in an inappropriate manner as well as other sexual advances even after I made it clear I wasn't interested and asked her to stop. The whole situation left me disturbed so I reported it to my manager and I was basically laughed at. With that reaction I took it a step further and reported the incident to the district manager and had the same result. I didn't know what else to do and feared nobody would take me seriously so I dropped the complaint.

Well sure enough I've had several more encounters with this woman and each time she has tried to sexually assault me. I've made multiple complaints, I've requested that she not speak to me in person or on the phone. The worst of it is my coworkers mock me and harass me about as well. It has come to the point I am going to have to get authorities involved and even then I am not sure they would even side with me because women hold all the cards in a sensitive situation like this. All she would have to say is that I grabbed her and it would be me the cops were busting. I am scared to take any action as of now.

Why is it that men are not taken seriously in these situations?  Is it because men have been stereotyped as the instigators? It seems when the roles are reversed an aggressive woman is sexy or empowered and the man should be happy. A man grabs a woman? People would scream for his testicles to be removed. Woman grabs a guy? Pats on the back and congratulations are in order. It disgusts me. There is no doubt in my mind that if I were female I would have been taken seriously.

This is the reaction I had from my manager when I told him: "was she good looking?". If I were a woman that would not have been the first question asked guaranteed.




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0
 03.04.2012 6:01am


Indiana Jerico
Sinfully Delicious v2
Administrator



We now live in a world where cameras and recorders can be in the palm of your hand. I trust you know what to do. >=O


===

"Plans? What plans? I'm making this up as I go!"








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0
 03.04.2012 6:26am


Fincher
Deep Water Horizon



That sort of thing happened to me once, but fortunately it was on the last day I worked at the place, so I didn't have to put up with it for very long.  Sorry, I don't have any particular advice to offer.



Currently playing: Professor Layton and the Diabolical Box, Picross DS
Last played: Time Hollow (good)
Last watched: Agent Carter (very good)
Me on Favslist





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0
 03.04.2012 7:44am
 (Edited on 03.04.2012 at 7:50am)

Southern Comfort
silently judging all of you



Yes, there is a perception that men can't be sexually harassed.  Something something how men are always obsessed with sex and will fuck anything anytime something something.  Your manager and district manager (assuming they're men) are thinking that if they were in your shoes they would have nailed your co-worker seven ways to sunday and bragged about it all year long, c'mon guy she wants to fuck you, live a little!

Directly contact your HR department.  Inform them that A) you are a male and receiving unwelcome sexual advances from a female co-worker, B) your management chain ignored and belittled you because you are a man being sexually harassed by a woman, C) there is no legal difference between this and a man sexually harassing a female co-worker, and D) if a resolution to the situation is not immediately forthcoming, including corrective action taken on the offender, your manager, and the district manager, you will contact legal counsel and initiate a lawsuit.

And of course, E) if this fails, contct a lawyer and get ready to sue them into oblivion.




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0
 03.04.2012 7:53am


Dh
Not in the face!
The Alpha and the Omega



maximus asinus said:

This is the reaction I had from my manager when I told him: "was she good looking?". If I were a woman that would not have been the first question asked guaranteed.

This dipshit needs to be reported to your HR department as well.



I made this for you!




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0
 03.04.2012 10:53am


Zubis
Registered Member



Get it on camera if you can, or try and find people who will back you up that you can trust - you don't want a Disclosure type situation. And yes, this situation sucks.




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0
 03.04.2012 5:17pm
Thread Creator

maximus asinus
Registered Member

I realize that I have to contact HR but I am absolutely terrified because of how far I went to file a complaint in the first place. If I were to make a complaint now I would have to report my manager and district manager as well as the entire staff at the store as they're now part of the problem. If I did that I am not exactly sure how stable my job security would be. I know they cannot fire me for reporting them but I don't imagine they would be very friendly to me either and would be looking for other reasons to terminate me. At best there would be a lot of added stress in the work place for me reporting everyone in the first place.

BUT if I do report to HR I have a witness who was also harassed by the same woman and witnessed her advances on me. He was also present when I reported to the manager.

In the long run what exactly would occur? the woman isn't an employee, she is a client. I assume we would stop doing business with her which would eliminate one huge stressful situation but what about the other employees? Does anyone have experience with this that could fill me in?




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0
 03.04.2012 5:41pm


amaron
No answer, must be that deaf bitch.



http://www.eeoc.gov/laws/types/sexual_harassment.cfm

I
t is absolutely sexual harassment. Document every time you've spoken to a supervisor about it. If HR does nothing or gives you the same type of treatment, file a claim using these instructions: http://www.eeoc.gov/employees/howtofile.cfm

I
f it gets worse, call the police. It is a crime to do what she did to you.




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0
 03.04.2012 9:10pm


Zubis
Registered Member



maximus asinus said:

In the long run what exactly would occur? the woman isn't an employee, she is a client. I assume we would stop doing business with her which would eliminate one huge stressful situation but what about the other employees? Does anyone have experience with this that could fill me in?

To be honest, it depends on how much the client is worth. If she's worth millions and it's a choice between her and you, well....sorry dude.




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0
 03.05.2012 1:28am


Magicjewel
Dr. Fantabulous
Administrator



I say go for it, report it to HR, and make it clear that you've contacted your attorney about the issue (whether you have or not).  That should take care of it.

I think it's despicable to treat men as if they cannot be victims of harassment, since they can and often are.



"Well, your brain seems to work a little bit." -- Rune Walsh, Phantasy Star IV.




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0
 03.05.2012 6:02am


Fuuko Sakurada
Momoia =D

Other than what's already been said, there's nothing else I can add for advice; I feel really sorry for you and I hope this whole shit is going to be solved soon =/



BoA*

Best of Asia * since 2000




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0
 03.06.2012 4:02am
Thread Creator

maximus asinus
Registered Member

I am going to contact HR Friday, I've booked an appointment Wednesday for my family doctor and will have him examine me for stress indicators or if need be have him refer me to a psychiatrist so they can make an assessment. I want everyone to realize men can be victims of sexual harassment too.




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0
 04.05.2012 9:52pm
 (Edited on 04.05.2012 at 10:02pm)

kirbenvost
Give Life Back To Music



Good advice all around, and I'm glad you decided not to give up.  I hope your efforts are working out.

Men are people too, dammit! :D I make light, but this is a serious situation, and neither the perpetrator nor your workplace should get away with this. I have a friend who was sexually harassed recently and they ended up letting her go, which I'm fairly sure is illegal. I hope she's doing something about it.




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0
 04.12.2012 9:32pm


Dh
Not in the face!
The Alpha and the Omega



So whatever happened with all this?




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0
 04.17.2012 6:47pm
Thread Creator

maximus asinus
Registered Member

I am still working, we aren't dealing with that client anymore (but not through anything that we spoke of here). I am in a process with HR in regards to my boss, but that is going extremely slow and their isn't really progress on that front.




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