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Questions about life

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0

10.31.2012 5:31am

Thread Creator

kjonez
with a Z

I don't know if we started one of these but.......

I like you's guys and I feel comfortable asking questions about life and pondering the answers you have. Feel free to do the same. I start with:

My fiance and I are talking about kids. Now, I'm super white and she's black. If I have a kid who turns out mixed or w/e, can he/she drop the "N" word? Also, sub-question, can I start saying 'sister' and 'brother'? Her family loves me and, honestly, they say I should have been born black lol.

0

10.31.2012 9:57am

Id82
Fuck Shit Stack.

Um, does your fiance drop the N word?

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10.31.2012 12:34pm

Mole
Somebody loves ya.

Is this a real question or some kind of copypasta joke thing

Because I could answer this seriously but I don't want to be getting trolled, so

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10.31.2012 1:31pm

reido
(\/)(o,,,o)(\/)

Mole said:

Is this a real question or some kind of copypasta joke thing

Because I could answer this seriously but I don't want to be getting trolled, so

This.

0

10.31.2012 4:01pm

Thread Creator

kjonez
with a Z

Oh it's serious. She's an oddball herself and calls everoyone the N word, including white people. It's very rare, but it comes out when she gets angry at people. I brought this question up to her because not only do we feel comfortable talking about it with eachother, we want to make sure that any children we have can respect the nature of the word too. I'm looking for any input on the subject.

0

10.31.2012 4:56pm

Vyers
Dark Adonis

I couldn't be more white.

I can not make any comment on this topic.

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10.31.2012 5:23pm

Sei'taer
lost

Maybe if the next generation grows up used to hearing the word all the time it won't be such a taboo.

I mean I can't wait to see how language changes in the next 50 years.

0

10.31.2012 5:25pm

reido
(\/)(o,,,o)(\/)

Vyers said:

I couldn't be more white.

I can not make any comment on this topic.

This.

kjonez said:

Also, sub-question, can I start saying 'sister' and 'brother'? Her family loves me and, honestly, they say I should have been born black lol.

I would venture a no initially, with the caveat that you ask whichever of them you're closest to, other than your fiance, what they think.

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10.31.2012 7:38pm

Mole
Somebody loves ya.

Well, a child probably shouldn't be using swear words in the first place, especially ones that are so potentially violent and hateful. So that answers your question for the first twelve years or so; however as your child gets older they're going to say and do whatever they want. It is therefore important a person be intelligent, mature, and sensitive enough to make good decisions about their behavior. This includes an education on past and current history, a sensitivity to the feelings and concerns of others, and general social conciousness.

Your question only skims the surface of how a mixed-race person will learn to navigate the 21st century.

Saying "brother" and "sister" is fine around friends and family, i.e. people who don't mind you being corny as hell, however with strangers this can come off as condescending and is best avoided.

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10.31.2012 10:18pm

Crono
Crono can cross dimensions too!

Nigga, please. In my personal experience, even if you're white as hell, if you're surrounded by friends nobody cares if you are using the n-word casually. Just don't let them get ignorant with it and let them think it's ok for it to be every other freaking word.

Currently Playing: Dark Cloud 2: 3 hours.
Also Playing: CT, FF VI, Solatorobo, Secret of Mana, Halo 4.
Just Finished: Fable II: 7 hours.

0

10.31.2012 11:01pm

Clowd Cole
Dangerous Zombie

Buggle Up! Danger! Danger! (Genocide!) Death the Crisis! Dangerous Zombie!

0

11.01.2012 2:49am

Thread Creator

kjonez
with a Z

My younger, adopted, Filipino brother was a great and respectful kid who moved away with his mother and grew up with a bunch of white kids who think they are black. He now uses the word profusely, calling themselves and everyone else by that word, and I know it's gotten him into trouble and will lead to even worse things if he continues to use it. I tell him this time and time again but his response everytime is "everyone else is doing it".

So as the white parent, my eventual child will possibly be exposed to this and I will take the intelligent and respectful route by telling them how it's a derogitory word and shouldn't be used at all. However if he uses the same excuse as my brother I find that as much as I would say, it won't have a lasting effect because of the color of my skin. I hope that by the time this happens the word will disapper like other negative terms and I certainly wouldn't shelter him/her from a social lifestyle, however, I will make damn sure they don't get caught up in the negativity-influenced world my brother has.

As for my use of 'brotha' and 'sista', her family already calls me brother(and boo...love that!) so I'm just seeing if I can say it back in their company. I ceratinly wouldn't use it in public with people I don't know. This reminds me of the Seinfeld episode where Elaine thinks she's dating a black guy, after spending the whole episode trying to figure it out, and says "I hear ya sista" to the black waitress and follows up with "it's ok, my boyfriend's black".

1

11.01.2012 3:16am

Indiana Jerico
Sinfully Delicious v2
Administrator

IMO I don't think the route you should go is telling your future kid "It's a derogatory word; don't use it!" Instead, like most things, educate them about the word. Why it's derogatory and how it is used and how it morphed across the ages as society evolves. That way, they'll be able to make an informed decision about it all by their own. You'll be respecting them as individuals and they will learn as well.

===

"Plans? What plans? I'm making this up as I go!"

d e v i a t i o n �?� i m a g i n a t i o n

0

11.01.2012 6:48am

Murasame
HALE YEAH

I didn't know brother and sister were race related. On everything, I have no fucking clue what you're talking about.

You guys, America is really weird.

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11.01.2012 5:43pm

Mole
Somebody loves ya.

Your kid is probably going to experience a lot of uncertainty about the socially acceptable way to act for someone of his race, depending on the kind of environtment he grows up in. He might make some mistakes and he'll run into problems that neither of his parents can truly relate to, but as long as he's taught to respect people and himself he'll probably be okay.

Also, make no mistake -- everything you say to him will have a lasting effect on him because you will be his dad. Your parents are your parents no matter what they look like, you can trust me on that.

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